Before we explore 'The Coffee Paradox', we have to explore and define the meanings to the words 'Coffee' and 'Paradox'.

Definitions from d*********.com
Coffee (cof·fee) noun - a beverage consisting of a decoction or infusion of the roasted ground or crushed seeds (coffee beans) of the two-seeded fruit (coffee berry) of certain coffee trees.

Paradox (par·a·dox) noun -
1. a statement or proposition that seems self-contradictory or absurd but in reality expresses a possible truth
2. a self-contradictory and false proposition
3. any person, thing, or situation exhibiting an apparently contradictory nature
4. an opinion or statement contrary to commonly accepted opinion

Definitions according to the great me:
Coffee noun - a beverage that boosts the brain power ridiculously, but has a drastic after-effect, making one look like a drunkard; contrary to popular belief, it doesn't keep me awake

Since my definition for paradox is closely similar to d*********.com, just refer to above.
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Now, why a 'Coffee Paradox'?

Coffee, for most people serves to keep one awake. The drinking of coffee is especially commonplace when one is mugging for the final year examinations or any other important test. Nonetheless, coffee does not serve to keep me awake, and thus many render coffee useless for me. But I would like to remind one that I DO NOT drink coffee for the sake of keeping awake, but for the bitterness and smell of it, so it does serve its purpose for me.

Now why paradox? It's simply because while coffee is supposed to keep one awake, it ironically makes me feel like sleeping. Why is this so? It is simply because coffee helps my brain (YES, I do have one) to work at it's optimum level. However, it does have its side effects - extreme insanity, overly heightened senses, and tiredness of the body. Too little coffee will drive me into insanity, while too much coffee will make my brain work real well but in turn making me feel real tired after 3 hours. I need the right amount of coffee so that I won't get knocked out fast, and to also maintain some level of sanity - a regular cup of coffee at most coffee stands would do the trick. And how I know? The other day I drank a small and I went into an epileptic frenzy (2 people can testify to that), and today I drank a large and I could actually complete more work in the same amount of time (the amount of work I managed to complete testifies to that).

The conclusion - never order a large cause of the coffee rush, never order small cause there's too little of it - order s regular and it will make your day!

*On a side note, coffee of all proportions would also drive me crazy, and that would probably explain why I came up with such a random post. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Uttered by Matt at 11:08 pm  

Labels: Quirks of Life, Random